An Itch You Have to Scratch #44
by KaitlynRose
Summary: Lucas and Ben decide to pull a little prank, but it backfires.


I do not own seaQuest or its characters.  I am not profiting from this story.  It's for entertainment only.

**Author's Notes:  I'm back!!!!  Hi everyone!!  Yes, I finished the book.  I'm actually very proud of myself.  I'm even working on book number two.  I don't know when or if they'll ever be published but I'm going to try.  Anyway, it's good to be writing seaQuest stuff again.  I've missed torturing Lucas very much.  I hope you like this.  It's just a little piece of fluff that I wanted to write.  **

An Itch You Have to Scratch 

By:  Kaitlyn Rose

Ben had out done himself with this one.  He had arranged for the perfect prank.  It would be fabulous and it was guaranteed to get Lucas out of the depression that had claimed him for the last couple of days since he had returned from New York.  Even though the kid said he was fine, he was still focused on the fact that Lawrence had just tried to kill him once again.

He knocked on the Captain's door.  He put on his best smile when he heard the Captain say enter.

"Good morning sir," Ben said.

"Good morning Lieutenant.  What can I do for you?" Nathan asked.

"Actually, sir, I'm here for Lucas.  I was hoping he was here."

"No, he went to the labs with Kristin today," Nathan said, looking up from his mountain of paperwork.

"That's good.  At least he finally left his room," Ben said.

"Tell me about it," Nathan said.  He and Kristin had both tried to cheer Lucas up and failed miserably.  "Try and cheer him up some if you can."

"Oh, I plan to do just that," Ben said with a grin.

"Just don't get him in trouble," Nathan warned.

"No sir, wouldn't dream of it," Ben said, flashing his most charming smile.  Then he turned and left. 

Nathan watched him close the door behind him.  "Yeah, right," Nathan smirked.  His Lieutenant was up to something.  Of that he was sure.  He only hoped that what ever he was cooking up wouldn't get Lucas into too much trouble.

_________________

Ben entered the lab and there was Lucas sitting next to Kristin looking through a microscope.

"Do you see the nucleotide?" Kristin asked.

"Yeah, I see it," Lucas responded.

"Hey doc," Ben said, "You mind if I steal the kid for a while.  I need his help with something."

"Help with what?" Kristin asked.

"Uh, just…um…some stuff that came in the last supply run," Ben said and then coughed.

Lucas just rolled his eyes.  Ben wasn't fooling any one.

"I trust you aren't up to anything mischievous?" Kristin asked.

"No, not me, honest.  I just wanted to spend some time with my best friend is all.  I haven't had the chance to spend much time with him lately."

Kristin wasn't buying any of it but she figured Lucas could use some free time with a friend.  "Fine, Lucas you can go, but I expect your help later today."

"Okay," Lucas said.  

Ben smiled a big smile and slapped Lucas on the back.  "So kid, how have ya been doing?" he asked as they walked out into the corridor and out of Kristin range of hearing.

"Okay Ben, what are you up to?" Lucas asked.

"Me?  Lucas I'm crushed," Ben said.

"Uh huh.  Yeah.  Like I said.  What's the deal?"  Lucas just stood there waiting patiently.

"Okay, it's like this.  I'm about to pull the best prank ever and I need you're help."

"You're going to end up getting me scrubbing toilets with a toothbrush aren't you?" Lucas joked.

"Not a chance.  No one will know it was us," Ben said.

"So what is it?" Lucas asked.  He was a kid after all, and he did have all this creative energy to put to use.

"Let's go somewhere private," Ben said.  He and Lucas went back to his quarters.  Ben closed the door behind him and then looked at Lucas with a suddenly serious face.

"Okay, during my last supply run I got this."  Ben stooped in the floor and pulled out a box from under his bed.  The bright colors on the box made it look like a box of cereal.

Lucas read the label on the box and started to laugh.  "You've got to be kidding!  Ben, do you know how juvenile that is!"

"Well since you're only fifteen it should be perfect," Ben smirked.

"Itching powder!  You are actually going to use itching powder!"

"Keep your voice down," Ben warned waving his hands in the air.

"Just who are you planning on using it on?" Lucas asked.

"I was thinking either Crocker or Ford.  What do you think?" Ben asked.

Lucas just grinned.  "Both," he replied.

"Kid, I like the way you think," Ben laughed.

"So what do you need me for?" Lucas asked.

"Well, here's the plan.  I need you to keep watch while I sneak into the laundry room and get their boxers."

"You're going to put it in their boxers!" Lucas gasped.  "Ben you are so going to get us into trouble!"

"Nonsense.  Besides, tell me you wouldn't think it the most hysterical thing in the world for Commander Ford to be standing on the bridge scratching his balls."

Lucas couldn't help but start laughing.  It would be hysterical, but god, if they got caught!  

"So will you help me?" Ben asked.

"Oh, all right, but I have a feeling I am oh so going to regret this," Lucas said.

"Great." Ben said.  "Let's go."

"Now?  You want to do it right now?" Lucas gulped.

"No time like the present," Ben smirked.

"I'm going to regret this," Lucas moaned.  "Wait a minute, I have an idea.  Instead of sneaking into the laundry room with a box of itching powder, let me run into the laundry room and grab a box of the detergent and then we can switch the contents.  No one will question us if we go into the laundry room then.

"Kid I knew there was a reason why I wanted your help with this little stunt.  People don't call you a genius for nothing."

Lucas ran down to the laundry room and looked around.  He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that the room was all clear.  The guys working in here must be out delivering clean laundry.  He hurried over to the machines and saw several open boxes of detergent.  He grabbed the first one and quickly made his way back to Ben's room.

"Got it!" Lucas said.

"Okay, give it to me."  Ben went to the garbage can and dumped all the detergent into it and then poured the itching powder into the detergent box.

"All set," Ben smirked.  "Let's go."  Ben picked up a pile of his laundry for show and then he and Lucas walked down the corridor with the box.

They entered the laundry room and saw seaman Hicks and Weiss doing the laundry for the crew.

"What do you want Krieg?" Hicks asked.

"Uh, just came to do some laundry," Ben said.

"Well toss it in the bin and we'll get to it as soon as we can," Weiss said.

"Uh, if you don't mind I'll wash this myself," Ben said.  "It's my favorite clothes for shore leave and I want it done right.  Last time someone got bleach spots on my blue shirt.  I had to throw it away."

"Shore leave isn't for a week.  Why do you need the clothes tonight?" Hicks asked.  "Got a hot date?"

"Yeah, sure he does," Weiss commented.  "With a rubber doll named Betty."

"Hey, you were supposed to keep Betty a secret," Ben joked back.

"You don't really have a doll named Betty?" Lucas asked.

"No!  Of course not," Ben said.  "Don't you know a joke when you hear one?"

"Well with you Ben one never knows for sure," Lucas teased.

"Kid, I swear," Ben groaned.

"Well if you two will excuse us we have to deliver this laundry," Hicks said.

Lucas and Ben watched as Hicks and Weiss walked out of the laundry room pushing two large carts filled with uniforms.

"Okay kid, you toss this into a machine and watch the door while I start searching through the underwear," Ben said.  He set the box on top of the shelf over the machines while Lucas was staring out the door.

"Fine, just hurry up."  Lucas picked up Ben's clothes and tossed them into the first machine.

Ben started searching through all of the unfolded laundry hoping to find Crocker's and Ford's boxer shorts.  He couldn't find anything.  He started searching through the different carts holding clean clothes.

Lucas turned the machine on and then reached up and grabbed the first box of detergent and threw some into the machine.  Then he put the box back on the shelf, never knowing that he had just poured a ton of itching powder into the machine with Ben's clothes.

"Hurry up," Lucas said.

"Is someone coming?" Ben asked.

"No, not yet but we don't have all day.  Just being here is going to make us look suspicious," Lucas said.

"Kid you need to stop worrying," Ben said.

"I've heard that before," Lucas said.

"I found the underwear!" Ben said, picking up several pairs of boxers shorts.

"Good, then put the powder on them and let's go."

"It's not that easy," Ben said.  "Half the ships underwear is in here."  He started sorting through them.

"What are you doing?" Lucas asked.

"I'm looking through the labels for theirs," Ben said.  After a minute Ben managed to find one pair of Ford's and two pairs of Crocker's.

"Cool, Lucas bring me the box of stuff," Ben said.  "It's the first one on the shelf.

Lucas hurried over and grabbed the box, "Here," he said, handing the box to Ben.  Suddenly he realized that was the box he had used for Ben's clothes.  He opened his mouth to say something, but then suddenly closed it.

"What?" Ben asked.  "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Lucas said, fighting to keep the evil grin off his face.  Ben's first day of shore leave was going to be very interesting in deed.

Ben tossed powder over the underwear and then shook them so any excess would fall off.  When he was done he picked up the box but then his fingers lost their grip and the box fell into the laundry cart spilling its contents.

"OH…MY…GOD!" Lucas gasped.

"Okay, okay…don't panic," Ben said.

"Don't panic!" Lucas yelled.  "The entire boat is going to be scratching their crotches!"

"This isn't a problem.  We'll just rewash all of this.  Help me to throw it in to a machine," Ben ordered.

"What are you two still doing here?" Weiss asked as he entered the room.  "How long does it take to throw clothes into a machine?"

"Oh, we were just leaving," Lucas said, quickly grabbing Ben's arm.

Weiss walked up to the cart of under wear and started to sort through them.

"What are you doing?" Lucas asked.

"Folding clothes, what does it look like I'm doing?" Weiss asked.

Lucas and Ben just looked at each other and then hurried out of the room with out looking back.  They made a bee line straight for Ben's room.  Once inside they closed the door.

"We are so dead!" Lucas said.  "Dad is totally going to go ballistic."

"Maybe they'll just think it was a bad batch of detergent," Ben said.

"Ben get real!" Lucas said.  "We have to tell what happened."

"Oh no!  No way," Ben said.  "The Captain will have me scrubbing toilets or doing something just as awful."

"I knew something like this was going to happen," Lucas groaned.

"I suggest you just forget about it," Ben said.  "I'm going to go to the store room like nothing ever happened."

"Ben they're going to figure out it was us," Lucas said.

"Not if we keep our mouths closed.  Now go back to the lab with Kristin and help her with her nucleowhatevers."

Lucas rolled his eyes but did as Ben said.  There was really nothing else he could do.

___________________

Weiss began to fold the underwear in the cart.  He smiled when he saw the women's panties.  It was stupid he knew but he always found it funny to have to fold them.  He had he one job that some men would pay money to do.  

He read the labels and started sorting them.  There were four pairs for Hitchcock and three pairs for Westphalen.  Then he put to the side four pairs for Ensign Walberg.  God she was a hottie!

Once he was done with the women's underwear he started folding all the boxers.  Folding a hundred pairs of men's underwear just didn't have the same appeal as the women's.

A half an hour later he made the rounds delivering the freshly washed clothes.  He found he had to keep dusting his hands off.  What was this powder stuff?

___________________

Lucas was working with Mom in the labs when Dad walked in.

"Well, I don't suppose I could get you two to stop what you're doing and come to dinner with me," Nathan said.

"Just give us a few minutes to get this finished," Kristin said.  "Lucas, bring me that last slide."

Lucas grabbed the slide from the table and hurried to take it too her.  With Dad being there he was nervous though and he suddenly tripped and dropped the slide.  He bent down to pick it up quickly.

"Ouch!" he said.  He snatched his hand back and stuck his bleeding finger in his mouth.

"Lucas, let me see," Kristin asked, taking his wrist and then pulling his hand towards her. 

"It's okay," Lucas said.  "Really."

"It's nothing too serious," Kristin said.  "But we should get a bandaid on it so it doesn't get infected."

"I'm sorry I messed up your slide," Lucas said.

"Don't worry about it.  It's no big deal.  I was ready to call it a day anyway," Kristin said.

"Lucas, are you okay?" Nathan asked.  "You seem a little distracted."

"No, I'm good," Lucas replied quickly.  A little too quickly both Nathan and Kristin noticed, but they decided not to push the issue.  They both assumed it had something to do with Lawrence and what had happened in New York.

Kristin put a little ointment and a bandaid on Lucas' finger.  She saw Dr. Levin cleaning up the broken glass from the slide.

"I guess we can go to dinner," she said.

"Great," Nathan said.

They walked to the mess and filled their trays.  Lucas saw Ben sitting with Katie and Tim at another table.  

Nathan led them to the crew's table.  "Mind if we join you?" Nathan asked.

"Please do Captain," Ben said.

They had a seat and joined in the conversation.

"How is the power grid upgrade going?" Nathan asked Katie.

"We're running a bit behind schedule actually.  Lucas we could probably use your help on it," Katie said.

"Sure, no problem," Lucas said.  "Are you just running behind or are you having problems?"

"We're just running behind," Katie said.  "It would be nice if you could help though, especially when we bring the new system on line to make sure we don't have a power surge and fry everything."

Lucas nodded.  "That would suck," he agreed.

Everyone chuckled at his comment.

"Nathan, I meant to talk to you earlier about this but I never had the chance.  I'm going to need a temporary replacement for Dr. Levin," Kristin said.

"Why, what's happening?"

"He has asked for a six weeks leave for personal business," Kristin said.  "His mother is ill.  He found out today that she fell and broke her hip.  Usually I'd cover it myself, but with the wedding right around the corner we have to find a temp for him."

"I agree," Nathan said.  "I'll contact the UEO after dinner and inform them."

The rest of the dinner passed pleasantly.  Lucas tried his best not to look at Ben because the man kept making funny faces at him.  Lucas still couldn't believe that Ben had spilled an entire box of itching powder in the laundry.  How on earth was he going to talk his way out of that one?

_______________

That night Lucas was able to forget about the itching powder because he had so much fun with his Dad.  After dinner the two of them played one of Lucas' computer games together.  It was a boxing game and Lucas was surprised when his Dad won round after round.

"Nathan I think Lucas is a bad influence on you," Kristin teased from the sofa where she was doing a cross stitch.  "You're getting to be as good as he is at these ridiculous games."

"Hey, they're not that ridiculous," Nathan pointed out, "and I'm winning, just for the record.  Besides, I don't like doing cross stitch.  Sewing was never one of my better skills."

"My motto is, if it's ripped throw it away," Lucas agreed.  

"I should teach you to sew," Kristin said.  "It's very relaxing."

"No thanks," Lucas said.  "I don't mind cooking with you, especially if we're making cookies, but I draw the line at sewing.  I am a guy after all."

"Lucas, some of the world's best clothes designers are men," she pointed out.

"Yes, and almost all of them are gay.  I like girls.  Well, I would like girls if there were any girls around here for me to like, that is.  Do you have any idea how depressing it is that the best date I can get on a Friday night is a dolphin?"

"Lucas, I'm surprised at you.  There is nothing wrong with gay people," Kristin admonished and looked for a new color of thread.

"I didn't say there was, I just said that I'm not," Lucas said.

Nathan took advantage of Lucas' distraction and managed to get another KO.

"Ha!  Got ya again," Nathan said.

"No fair," Lucas griped, "I was arguing with Mom."

"That's your problem.  You let yourself get distracted," Nathan said.

"Dad," Lucas said seriously.

"What?" Nathan asked, seeing the change in the boy's tone.

"Will you teach me to fight?" Lucas asked.

"Why on earth would you want to learn that?" Kristin asked immediately.  Lucas was a gentle person, some how it didn't sit well with her his wanting to fight.

"Well, it's just that…I want to be able to protect myself, ya know.  When the next person who wants to use me for a punching bag comes along I'd like to be able to hold my own."

Nathan could understand what Lucas wanted, even if Kristin couldn't.

"I'll teach you to fight," Nathan said.  "We can start tomorrow before my shift starts."

"Really, you mean it?"

Nathan smiled.  "I mean it.  I'll start teaching you some basic moves, and then once you get them down I can have Commander Ford or maybe Ortiz spar with you."

"Cool," Lucas replied.  "Uh, maybe we could ask Ortiz before we ask the Commander."

"Why?" Nathan asked.

"No reason," Lucas said.  He figured that after tomorrow Ortiz would probably forgive him quicker than the Commander would.

_________________

The next morning at 7:00 Nathan kept his promise and took Lucas down to the rec room and taught him how to throw a right hook.  Lucas spent the better part of an hour hitting first the palm of Nathan's hand to get down the movement and then put on a glove and started hitting the bag to work in some strength behind the punch.

"I think we need to stop now," Lucas said, rubbing his shoulder.  "My arm is going numb."

"No problem.  You're doing fine.  Tomorrow we'll start your other arm and I'll show you how to trade punches."

"Cool," Lucas said.

"Well, you go take a shower and I'm going to get to the bridge.  My shift starts in five."  

"Okay.  See you later."  Lucas took a big swig out off his water bottle.

Nathan walked down the corridor towards the bridge.  He saw several people hurrying past him, all of them squirming.  He stopped and stared at them as they passed him, startled by their strange behavior.  Finally he turned around and continued to the bridge.  

He stepped on to the bridge and relieved Commander Hitchcock who looked grateful to get to go to sleep after pulling the night shift.

"Good night sir," she said with a yawn.

"Sleep well," Nathan said and had a seat in his chair and immediately started looking over the night report she handed him.  He happily took a cup of fresh coffee from an Ensign and settled in to start his day.

He looked up when the shift change started.  O'Neil, Ortiz, and Commander Ford all stepped onto the bridge along with several others.  He nodded a greeting to them and returned to his report.  The next hour or so passed slowly.  There was really nothing to do today except patrol.  Nathan had finished his coffee and his report and was simply sitting staring out the view screen.  He turned his head when he caught Commander Ford squirming.  He watched as the Commander tried to be inconspicuous as he suddenly scratched himself.

Nathan actually did a double take.  It was a well known fact that men sometimes had to scratch, but he had NEVER seen the Commander do it, even off of the bridge.  He quickly glanced around the bridge and saw that O'Neil and Ortiz were also squirming in their seats.  What on earth was going on?  Sure, the shift was a boring one, but still, why was everyone squirming?

He got up and walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself another cup of coffee and stood at the back of the bridge for a minute.  He saw O'Neil and Ortiz start talking to each other in whispered voices and they were both squirming even more.  He was so caught up in watching them that he didn't even notice Commander Ford approach him.

"Sir, I need to be excused," Ford said.

"Commander?" Nathan said.

"Sir, permission to leave the bridge?"  Jonathon looked as if he had tears forming in his eyes and he was squirming uncontrollably.

"What's wrong?" Nathan had to ask.

"Sir, I…I…really need to go to my quarters for a few minutes.  It's an emergency."

Nathan couldn't help it.  His curiosity was killing him.  "What type of emergency exactly.  Why are you squirming like you have ants in your pants?"

"God I hope that's all it is," Ford groaned.

"Excuse me?" Nathan said, trying not to laugh.

"Sir, I think maybe I have…um…well sir…a…a rash," Ford stammered.

"Then how exactly did you pass your rash to O'Neil and Ortiz?"

"Sir?"

"They are currently both scratching themselves in the same place your dying to scratch," Nathan pointed out.

"I don't know what's going on but my I **please leave the bridge?" the Commander begged.**

"Permission granted," Nathan said.  "Report to Dr. Westphalen."

Ford looked horrified at the mention of going to Kristin.  "Sir, I don't really think that is necessary."

"Oh but I do.  Report to her right now."

"Yes sir," Ford finally relented.

"Mr. Ortiz, Lt. O'Neil, will you please accompany Com. Ford to the medbay," Nathan ordered.

He had expected the two to protest like the commander had but they actually looked grateful to have the chance to end their suffering.  The three men hurried from the bridge.

"Sir, may I please go with them?" Ensign Burke suddenly asked.  He was standing with his legs crossed like he was about to wet himself.

Nathan sighed and nodded.  Ensign Burke high tailed it off the bridge.  "Ensign Walberg, will you please take over Lt. O'Neil's station and page the next shift to come to the bridge now, also page Commander Hitchcock to return to the bridge."

"Aye sir."  She went to the communications console and relayed the Captain's orders.

Thirty minutes later the replacements arrived along with one very sleepy looking Katie.

"Sorry to interrupt your sleep Commander but I need to get to the medbay.  We have something of a crisis going on here and I need to find out what's happening."

"No problem, sir."  Katie poured herself a giant cup of coffee and had a seat in the Captain's chair.

Nathan marched off the bridge and went down to medbay.  He was shocked to find the room filled with crew members.  Kristin and Dr. Levin were passing out tubes of cream to all of them telling them to go back to their quarters and to apply it generously.

Nathan made his way through the crowded room and up to Kristin.  She turned and saw him.

"Oh Nathan, not you too," she moaned.

"Not me what?  Kristin what in the hell is going on?"

"All I can figure is that people are having an allergic reaction to something.  Did the ship recently change laundry powders?  It seems that the allergic reaction is strictly affecting people's private parts.  At first I thought it was just the men, but then I had two women come in here with the reaction happening to their upper and lower privates."

"I don't think detergent was changed, that's something Krieg would know since he monitors our supplies."  Just then Nathan turned and saw Lucas standing in the corner, trying very hard to not be noticed.  It only took a second for Nathan's psi abilities to read Lucas' guilty conscious.

"For the love of god.  I'm going to kill Krieg and Lucas," Nathan groaned.

"Nathan what are you talking about?" Kristin asked.

"Don't worry about it," Nathan replied.  He moved away from her and up to Lucas.  "Son, I think we need to have a little talk.  Right now."

"Yes sir," Lucas sighed. 

They stepped out of medbay and started down the corridor.  

"Where are we going?" Lucas asked nervously.

"To get your partner in crime."

Lucas sighed again.  He was going to kill Ben.  

They walked to the store room and Nathan barged right inside.  Ben looked up from his supply lists.  As soon as he saw the Captain and Lucas standing there he knew the jig was up.  

"Can I help you sir?" Ben asked.

"Cut the shit Ben.  What did the two of you do?" Nathan demanded.  "Half the ship is in medbay with a rash in a place they'd rather not have."

"Sir, it's all my fault," Ben said.  "Lucas didn't want to do it but I made him."

"Ben you didn't make me do it, although you were the one who ended up spilling the whole box," Lucas said.

"Whole box of what?" Nathan asked.

"Uh…itching powder sir," Ben said.

"Itching powder!" Nathan gasped.

"We didn't mean to get the whole ship," Lucas quickly interjected.  "We just wanted to play a prank on Chief Crocker and Commander Ford, but Ben spilled the whole box into the cart with everyone's underwear by accident."

"And you didn't think it was necessary to inform anyone that this had happened?" Nathan continued.

"We were going to fix it.  We were going to rewash all of them, but then Seaman Weiss showed up and we…well we ran for it," Ben admitted.

Lucas and Ben were both waiting for the Captain to explode, but instead the man started to laugh.  For a moment Lucas and Ben thought they were going to be okay.

"You two have to be the worst pranksters in the entire UEO."

"So does this mean we aren't going to be punished?" Lucas asked meekly.

"Oh I didn't say that.  I hope you two have your toothbrushes ready.  You're going to be cleaning toilets for the next week, and I'm putting you both in the kitchen for the next week.  I think washing pots will do."

Lucas and Ben both looked ready to protest but one look from the Captain shut them both up.  Nathan turned to leave when Ben spoke up.

"Captain, you're not going to tell the crew what happened are you?"

"Oh no Lieutenant.  I'm not going to tell the crew a thing."

Lucas and Ben both looked relieved.  That was all they needed, for everyone on the boat to be plotting revenge on them.

"I'm not going to tell the crew what happened, you two are.  In one hour you'll both get on the ship's intercom and make a public apology."

Nathan fought to keep his face stern looking as he saw both Lucas and Ben's faces crumple.  Finally he left the two alone and closed the door behind him.

"Ben I could kill you," Lucas said.

"Hey, you helped me of your own free will," Ben reminded.

"Oh shut up," Lucas said.  He headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Ben asked.

"To get my toothbrush."


End file.
